Well I heard that your state could be sinking,
deep into the briny sea,
and all of them earthquakes got you thinking,
'bout leaving Californee-ee.
There's riots and there's flood and its smoggy,
toxic waste on yonder beach,
and all of them Hippies down in SANTA CRUZ,
are startin' to suck just like a leach.
You're sick of sunshine and surfing,
you've had all the tofu you can take,
well lookee here times-a-wastin',
you just move to the Centennial state!

Some people think our state is square,
they're wrong just wait and see,
I walk a mile high,
Colorado's right for me.

Well ridin' on a cow can make you tired,
and it gets a little cold,
"That's true!",
but if y'all could use a little swayin',
here's Val from the W's!

Riding rodeos and square dancing,
you farm like mad all day,
you might think that I'm lying,
shoot listen to what my uncle's gotta say!
"I'm an old smelly geezer,
I don't know what rhymes with that,
if you've got a boil you can pick it,
get out of my yard and give me my chicken!"